Whoop-de-do! As of today, I’m now officially a “gentleman of leisure.” (I know, “unemployed dirty old man” would be truer, but it sounds so much nicer the other way.) The good side of this is it will give me some time to catch up on the on-going unfinished stuff I’ve been wanting to post here. It’s even given me an idea for a new reality TV show: “Lifestyles of the Poor & Ignored.” But seriously, I suppose I should be worried with the dismal state of new job prospects now, but I’m not overly so (yet). I intuit things will work out ok in this regard for me before my situation will become critical. (Things usually do, so long as one keeps faith in the gods & doesn’t do something stupid.) Thankfully, there’s unemployment insurance, which, albeit meager, should keep me afloat until I can secure new work (which will likely take several months)…

Well, enough with reporting the asinine re me. So, I’ll end this update with a bit of other nattering for fun.

** Some actual (really!) book titles for reading when you’re bored:

> “How to Become a Schizophrenic” by John Modrow (1992).
> “Teach Yourself Alcoholism” by Meier Glatt (1975).
> “Constipation and Civilization” by J.C. Thomson (1943).
> “The Romance of Leprosy” by E. Mackerchar (1949).
> “Reusing Old Graves” by Davis & Shaw (1998).
> “The Bright Side of Prison Life” by Capt. S.A. Swiggert (1897).
> “The Pleasures of the Torture Chamber” by John Swain (1931).
> “Scouts in Bondage” by Geoffery Prout (1930).
> “The Baby Jesus Touch and Feel Book” by L. & A. Parry (1995).

After perusing all these, you should be all set to intelligently go crazy, down bottles of booze like a pro, shit urbanely, have a rotten love affair, be ghoulish, light up your cell, enjoy a rackingly fun time with friends, teach boy scouts the ropes, and then molest the baby Jesus at the church nativity setting come Christmas. What more could you ask for?

** “You are what you eat,” indeed. Here are just three (for real!) examples of what the U.S. Food & Drug Administration’s new “strict guidelines” are re the amount of “allowable” foreign matter in packaged foods:

> “No more than 50 insect fragments or 2 rodent hairs per 100 grams of peanut butter.”
> “No more than 10 fruit fly eggs in 100 grams of tomato juice.”
> “No more than 150 insect fragments in an 8-ounce chocolate bar.”
[You don’t want to know what happens re meat processing plants.]

Exactly how these high standards of “quality” are determined & maintained is not made clear… But, hey, at least now you know some the “secret recipe” ingredients that makes your food so “finger lickin’ good.” Besides, it can’t be bad for you, it’s government approved ... Enjoy your next meal.

Ok, more as it happens…